Dating your spouse again can play a huge effect on improving your marriage. But first you need to define dating. It is really important to define the dating rules in your trial marriage separation to avoid any more damages in your relationship. Here are 5 important factors to dating your partner again.
1. When you and your partner go on a date, ensure you both clarify what type of date you both are going on. Picture the disappointment from your partner when she or he expects a charming night when instead you wish to come over to discuss family's finances. Ensure you make it clear to your other half on what the purpose of your date is.
2. Knowing precisely what each other's expectancies when it comes to dating plays a crucial factor in saving your relationship. Choose whether you both plan on dating other people and ensure you guys are honest about it. Imagine further damage to your relationship when your spouse accidentally runs into you and your other date. Not merely will that hurt your spouse, but can in reality end your relationship than and there.
3. When you and your other half are on a date, don't pretend as if you do not have any marriage issues. Make sure as a couple you are very open about the issues in your marriage. Instead of blaming who did what, figure out what failed in your marriage and what you both could have done differently. This is going to help you both as a couple get a better perspective of what went wrong and can help you find techniques to fixing your marriage.
4. Before you and your spouse starts dating, its important that you fellows fix the problem of physical intimacy and the limits. If you really believe that your relationship can't be saved and you feel divorce is imminent, than having sex with your other half will only cause deep and emotional pain. The very last thing you would like to do is to further hurt your partner when you know divorce is unavoidable.
5. The most vital thing when it comes to dating your spouse during a trial separation is that you keep the lines of communication open at all times. Openly expressing your thoughts, feelings and agenda when it comes to dating your other half will help you both get back on track to healing your relationship.
Dating is a way for you and your spouse to reconnect with one another on neutral grounds. Dating will help realign and balance your relationship when done correctly. It's very common for most couples to permit distractions and stress pull your attention from your other half, by dating, you'll refocus on making your relationship a major priority.
If you want to know how fix a broken marriage learn how Marriage Sherpa can save your marriage.
Origin: pickup-and-love.blogspot.com
On Monday night I was at a bar having a drink with a friend, when I overheard the tail-end of a comment from a group of three girls nearby. I didn't catch any of the first part, but the girl speaking ended whatever it was she was saying with "...but men "definitely" get better-looking with age."It annoys me to no end when I hear this, because - although it is widely accepted - the notion is complete bullshit. It is the same notion that motivates statements such as "I find men better-looking when I learn that they are intelligent" or "a receding hairline makes a man better-looking."On the surface, these statements seem to be acknowledging a difference between men and women - admitting that the attraction triggers for women are different than the attraction triggers for men. And this is undoubtedly true. But this truth only serves to mask a subtle attempt to assert that the sexes are the same.Think about it: the undeniable truth is that men do not get better-looking with age. There is simply no way that (all else being equal) a 40-year-old man looks more healthy and fertile than a 25-year-old man, or that a reasonably good-looking 28-year-old becomes a knockout once he gets crow's feet and his hair starts to thin. Even more telling is the blatant fact that there is no change in a man's appearance when a woman suddenly realizes that he is intelligent (or rich, or famous). The truth is that these things certainly do make a man more attractive, but they decidedly do not make him better-looking.The insistence that a man gets better-looking as he gets older, or hotter because he displays his intelligence, is an attempt to force the female attraction mechanisms into the mold of male attraction mechanisms. In other words, it is an assertion that women are attracted to men in the same way that men are attracted to women - by their looks, rather than by their strength or power. And, in light of the obvious fact that men do not get more healthy-looking or fertile-looking as they age, the only way to do this is to pretend that the symptoms of their power (age, intelligence, etc.) are physically attractive. Saying that a man gets "more attractive" or even "sexier" as he gets older makes perfect sense; but saying that he becomes "better-looking" is absurd - to the point that it immediately betrays its own insincerity.I realize that these kinds of comments are not usually made with the intention of insisting that men and women are the same, or in a conscious attempt to promote feminism. The girl I overheard in the bar was not trying to prove anything political; she was just voicing that fact that she finds herself more attracted to older men. But the "way" that she voiced that fact is riddled by a feminist fallacy, namely, that female sexuality is the same as male sexuality. The problem with this idea isn't that it is feminist, it is that it is wrong. There is a striking difference between male and female sexuality, and ignoring that difference is largely responsible for the anxiety and confusion that so many women in the dating world struggle with. The more we mask the truth with verbal facades like the assertion that "men get better-looking with age," the more we risk perpetuating that anxiety and confusion.So next time you are tempted to say that "men get better looking with age," or that "intelligence makes men better looking," stop and think for a moment about what you actually mean, and say that instead.RELATED POSTS1. Misconceptions2. No, You Aren't a Good Wing Woman3. Where is Feminism Taking Us?4. The Analogy Between Confidence and Beauty
Origin: datingforaverageguys.blogspot.com
Ok well i'm not sure if this married man was flirting with me or just being nice, when we were talking i think he would stare at me, and he was really nice to me, but i think he might be that way with everybody. Plus he winked at me because we were kind of joking around.He's several years older then me. I just want to know if he was flirting or just being really nice? Plus how do married men flirt? CONFUSED ABOUT A MAN!
I'm married and I flirt, innocently. My wife thinks it cute when my flirting accidentally comes out. But she also know that I'm an honorable man so it is of no concern to her.
I would assume he's innocent and just having fun. It doesn't hurt anything to enjoy the conversation and have fun - just keep your clothes on.CONFUSED ABOUT A MAN!
Man, if married and serious, do not flirt.
However, if their marriage is bad, they want some outside fun. Are you interested in having a relationship with a married man? Hope not. Be wise and find some one else. You yourself would not like it if you were married and your husband flirt with others.
omg omgomgomgomgomgomgomg %26lt;%26lt;preppy
hes cheating on his wife! thats awful! tell his wife! right now. ill wait for you to get the phone.
wait
wait
ok your back. now dial the number. now say this
hi is your wife there?
i want to talk to her
ok thanks
hi your husband has been cheating on you with me. now hes been flirting with me for quite some time. so i think it would be the proper thing if you dumped him.... or go to counsiling....... bye
He maybe flirting but it should be left at that. He is married, some people are natural flirts. Actually we all pretty much are. Some people just take the flirting to mean more than what it is flirting.
Just enjoy the attention and don't worry about if he was flirting or not. After all, he is married so it doesn't really matter.
I didn't finish reading your question. But when I arrived the word ';married man';, I was totally sure he is not serious to you.
All married men and women flirt. It's just human nature. Most likely he was flirting and being nice all at once. But he is married so if he makes a move remind him of his wife.
he may be flirting with you, becoz you know men, they like girls. but dont think much about him, you know, married men means a lot of trouble.
Kick him in the nuts and tell him to get on his knees and beg his wife for forgiveness.
A lot of people flirst, sometimes it is innocent sometimes it is not
Everyone flirts but stay away from him it's not right and you are too young.
just dont think in that way by one or two incidences like that
if u think he is really firting
ignore
or tell him u dont like it
Next time he does that, ask him a question about his wife.
Remember, never touch what is taken! Live by this rule.
doesn't matter, he's married.
casual flirting is no crime for a married man. as long as it doesnt lead to anything else...
Doesnt matter he is married that means.....HANDS OFF!
dont even mind him. hes married. you dont want to be a home wrecker
i dont really know, id have to be there
one question though
was he hot?!
just keep playing hard to get if he likes u then u will know eventually
Origin: street-approach.blogspot.com
Today we have the information to tell you about Men 4 Men Dating. Dont miss if youre looking for information about "Men 4 Men Dating". We have extra information about a particular MEN 4 MEN DATING to tell you. Opportunities like this are not common. We hope that the information we have this will benefit you a lot. Hopefully you will not miss this opportunity and free.... [Read more]
MEN 4 MEN DATING
Dating Advice For Men
Fortunately that is not the case. When women give compliance tests they really do want you to pass them. It is their way of filtering out a truly confident attractive guy from the rest. It may sound strange but beautiful women honestly cant just look at a guy an say "hes good looking therefore hes attractive." They need much more because they are approached by so many different types of guys. A really attractive girl will get hit on 10-15 times A DAY....
Source: dating-coach-anita.blogspot.com
Camping is a great way to smoke some fire into a relationship. Sitting by a crackling campfire, exploring nature's wonders, or snuggling together on a cool evening...aww, you can't beat camping for low cost, big fun, and great romance!
Now, you may not be a camper...but chances are, your spouse is. Or...vice versa. So, plan this adventure (if even for just one night). Camping forces you to get away from everything--there are no computers (no blogs to read! *gasp*), tvs, or children to distract you. (I'm not discouraging family campouts...just encouraging one "husband and wife only" campout)...where you truly get to be alone together.
Plan it together, or make it a surprise...But whatever you do, try to throw in a few details that will make this campout as romantic as is possible....for camping, anyway.
Make yourself a checklist to plan your campout, but these things I consider most important:
* Tent
* Queen size air mattress
* Queen size sleeping bag (fits two) - this is a must-have. We got ours as a wedding gift and love it! If you don't have one, maybe this could be a gift to tell your spouse of your upcoming camping date...
* Pillows
* Flashlights
* Food (if you choose to build a fire, get all the goods...)
* Wet Wipes, Towel (and "other" necessary items)
* Camoflage Lingerie (or atleast something green, brown, and cute)
* Ghost stories--there's nothing like being a little creeped out that can bring a girl closer to her man
Here are some links to GHOST STORIES to print out:
"(be warned: some of these are creepy and maybe a little gross... but that's the point-- I was trying to pick out the stories that I'd be scared to listen to and would make me hide my face in my husband's chest) "
* 1. No Trespassing
* The Ghost of Pearl White
* Bloody Mary
* Death Waltz
Other stories: HERE and HERE
If ghost stories are not your thing, then I suggest watching a "movie on a laptop" in the tent (make sure the battery is charged!)
The best advice I have for romantic camping is not to worry about "getting dirty"...(you can do the laundry when you get home!)
After all, this may be the only campout when you'll allow fire IN the tent. :)
If outdoor camping just isn't your thing...how about a little indoor camping with the one you love?
Source: loveknowsnoage.blogspot.com
You probably get lied to everyday. It's the reason you want to know "why do men and women lie?" Some of the lies leave no bruise while others devastate.
Similarly, we've all lied. Your nose doesn't grow from lies. Lying is often considered acceptable - even sometimes expected practice to handle someone's feelings. Thank goodness no one is Pinocchio.
Why do men and women lie? What can you do to stop yourself from lying? In this article you'll be surprised at the real reason you're lied to.
BLACK TRUTH OF WHITE LIES
Take "white lies" or "fibbing" as acceptable forms of lies. Here are examples of these deceptions:
* Lying to get out of trouble; such as why we were slightly late to work or a dentist appointment
* Lying to appear a certain way; such as fibbing about accomplishments on a first date or at a job interview
* Lying to avoid hurting feelings or conflict; like when a man is asked, "Do I look fat in this?"
* Lying to flatter someone
* Lying to garner attention; like exaggerating how sick you are or the dramatic events of a recent occurrence
To a large extent these lies are considered harmless white lies, and most of us tell them without blinking an eye. People often accept white lies because on a subconscious level they believe:
* the lies really don't hurt anyone and are of no consequence
* the lie is told to protect feelings
* the lies are only told on occasion
In fact, the Science Museum of London conducted a study on truthfulness amongst three thousand people, and discovered that:
both sexes said there were such things as 'acceptable' lies; 75 percent said it was okay if it was done to spare someone's feelings.
Though it's necessary to take these studies with a grain of salt - this study is interesting because it indicates the level of pervasiveness and acceptance lying has in our everyday lives.
LYING: A DANGEROUS HABIT
Telling a big whopper of a lie is not ideal. Problems can also occur when someone starts to white lie frequently - you could say they "abuse the system" by pulling out a white lie when necessary.
Lying, especially white lying, can be a dangerous habit because it's easy to do. As a child when we gain conscience and reasoning, it's one of the first things we notice - the ability to lie and get out of being in trouble. One day a parent places a lolly on a shelf and it disappears. You don't have the courage to endure punishment so you lie about eating it.
In social situations, lying about your life can make it easier to get someone to like you. It's also a way to avoid confrontation and hurting someone's feelings. It's simple to stop someone worrying when you lie about what happened or where you have been.
Lying is a way to avoid confrontation and hurting someone's feelings.
Cheating men and unfaithful women aren't the only ones who lie to avoid punishment. It's natural for humans to avoid trouble by taking the easy way out. (What's natural isn't always the best though.)
The famous psychologist and psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud believed humans are intrinsically driven to increase their pleasure and reduce their pain. The "Pleasure/Pain Principle" says we seek gratification through feelings of pleasure and steer away from pain. Often pain is quick to arrive as it takes our focus and steers us to a life of avoidance.
Pain-avoidance in lying means this process gets repeated. Eventually lying becomes habit, sticking in one's life. This is why many people believe the saying, "once a cheater, always a cheater".
WHY DO MEN AND WOMEN LIE?
Do men and women lie for different reasons? A study by the psychologist Bella M. DePaulo at the University of Virginia, found somewhat differing reasons for lying between the sexes. The study found women tend to lie to make people feel better and spare their feelings. These findings are consistent with a woman's tendency to feel responsible for people's feelings.
According to psychologist Michael Lewis in his book "Lying and Deception in Everyday life", men are more likely than women to use a lie to enhance themselves. Dr. Bella found men tend to lie in line with their male ego - whether it be to conceal something embarrassing to themselves and their ego, or to build their self-image. It was also discovered men often lie to avoid conflict.
Some common lies men tell are:
"Of course I like your friends!"
"Honey, you're the best."
"I can't call you. I don't even know where I'll be."
"That dress isn't too tight. It looks great!"
"They're downsizing at work. But don't worry, they won't get me."
"Sure, I'll mow the lawn - as soon as this short ache in my back goes away."
Some common lies women tell:
"Yes I'm satisfied."
"It was on sale so relax."
"Nothing is wrong."
"You're doing fine."
"Stop worrying, he doesn't hate you."
"I don't want anything for my birthday."
Here's some more lies in an cool pic Josh made that you can Pin:
THE ONE UNIVERSAL REASON EVERYONE LIES
Now that we've looked at lying and some of the common lies men and women tell - let's go deeper to understand why men and women lie. No matter who we are or the situation, EVERYONE lies for one universal reason.
And that reason is: a lack of courage.
I challenge you to look back at any lie you've told, or any lies someone has told you. The one thing they have in common is the deceiving person does not have the courage to tell the truth.
Anyone lying to get out of work or to inflate the ego are scared of the repercussions of truth. You can probably see how a lack of courage applies to these types of lies.
What about lies with more noble intentions? Do they really indicate a lack of courage?
Yes. Yes, even if you are lying to spare someone's feelings, and you think it's a noble thing, at the end of the day you still lack the courage to deal with the consequences (such as the reaction of the person) of telling it like it is.
What Liar Are You?
Do you lie
* to avoid hurting others?
* to dodge punishment?
* to overlook the reality of your life?
* because it's habit?
* because you fear rejection?
A lack of courage underlines these common reasons for lying. Understanding why you lie helps you kick the habit.
I am not advocating you must always tell the truth. I am pointing out the secret, subconscious reason for lying in the first place - a lack of courage to deal with telling the truth and receiving the consequences, be they good or bad.
Telling the truth takes courage. Telling the truth takes ongoing work. It's easy to lie and natural to avoid pain. "It takes effort to commit to telling the truth". It's difficult to tell the truth about the harder things in life because we are out of practice!
Courage is like a muscle. It needs to be built over time. When you haven't trained your truth muscles, they hurt to use in practice. The more you practice, the easier it becomes to tell the truth.
Note, I said it becomes easier to speak the truth the more you practice. The CONSEQUENCES of dealing with telling the truth don't necessarily get easier!
WHEN YOU SHOULD LIE
Is it okay to deceive if the consequences of telling the truth suck? Is it ever okay to lie?
Before I can answer if it's okay to lie - you need to be the person who does not use lying as a habit, as the easy way out, as a compulsion, or anything similar.
Many years ago while working in a detention centre with juvenile delinquents, I encountered enormous amounts of lies told by youth there. One pattern I discovered amongst them was the youth who were habitual liars became so accustomed to lying that they had no idea when they lied.
Even scarier than this, I discovered that the juveniles who habitually lied deluded themselves about the crimes they committed and the person they saw themselves to be. I had many a conversation with some offenders who lied point blank about their crimes, to the extent they deluded themselves into believing their own lies.
This is dangerous indeed. And it starts small.
Telling the truth takes courage.
Although it may seem ridiculous, you need an ongoing commitment to the truth! This commitment needs to be honored every day and in every situation. And with as much tact as possible. Just like our health, a commitment to being truthful and genuine needs to be cultivated, maintained, and built everyday.
If you don't have a commitment to truth then you will find yourself lying or being compelled to deceive in the trickiest and most demanding situations.
So if you have a commitment to the truth and find yourself consciously telling the truth, even when it hurts and you get nervous - congratulations! You are now in the position to discern whether or not it is necessary to lie. There are times in life when a lie is needed and the truth is unnecessary.
If you lie having assessed the situation - and you lie knowing you could just as easily tell the truth - as you already have the courage, then this is when it's okay to lie. Be careful and remember:
It takes a lifetime to build trust, and only an instant to destroy it.
The post Why Do Men and Women Lie? appeared first on TowerOfPower.com.au.
OTHER ARTICLES THAT MIGHT HELP YOU
* What Women Want in Men
* What Men Want in Women
* How to Be Charming to Men and Women
* The Power of Apologizing
"1980: AMC's Palmer was irate with Daisy. 1980: EON's Draperwent on trial. 1982: Chase's close relative visited Falcon Crest.1985: EASTENDERS premiered."Gift is no present or far afield, only the aforementioned at home over and over again - now."- Eugene O'Neill"In our time in Run Opera Narrate" is a classify of the utmost usual, intriguing and able actions in the history of scripted, successive programs. From birthdays and anniversaries to scandals and controversies, every day this caravan celebrates the run opera in American group."On this date in...1970: On Melancholy Shade, Megan (MARIE WALLACE) reported to Nicholas about the burning of Paul Stoddard's dreadful. She threatened to kill Nicholas if he depress Jeb, whom Nicholas accused her of loving. Barnabas (JONATHAN FRID) set up Megan and told her that Jeb punished his faithlessness by switch off him back into a sponger. In hostilities, Barnabas bit Megan and got her under his power. Megan then told Barnabas that Schuyler Rumson -- Angelique's new husband -- was the man who turned him in. Barnabas tracked down Angelique on Hope for Desert island and conscious her that Sky was a leviathan, a charge she refused to person. Banish, Sky then introduced her to his trainer, Nicholas Blair. As Angelique and Nicholas impostor to be strangers in deduction of Sky, the old arch-enemies reverted to form. Realizing that she totally couldn't chimney her aforementioned as a witch, Angelique unsmiling to wrap up it once again. As the thing ends, Nicholas information Sky to go like a bullet Angelique, which he set out to do.1980: On ALL MY Kids, Palmer (JAMES MITCHELL) threatened to turned an walkout dog rough on Daisy (GILLIAN SPENCER), who desired to agricultural show herself to Nina (TAYLOR MILLER).1980: On THE Ideology OF Night, Draper Scott's (TONY CRAIG) ruin trial began.1982: On FALCON Crest, the Gioberti family established for the come back of Chase's close relative, Jacqueline Perrault (LANA TURNER), from France. Jacqueline was married to Jason, but divorced him thirty years ago, sack Hoof marks to another place from Falcon Crest and never perpetual until now. Angela (JANE WYMAN) naked the news of Jacqueline's come back and was discontented, representing she had a history with her sister-in-law. Jacqueline within and greeted the Giobertis semi-warmly, but was overpowered with emotion with she saw Hoof marks. Seeing that Lance within, self-confidence a wine storage bin bravery of Angela, Jacqueline seemed partially weary towards Falcon Crest and Angela in clear-cut. Jacqueline warned Hoof marks that staying in Falcon Crest may well be spiteful, and that he may well take on the extremely good fortune as Jason. Jacqueline on hand Maggie the fissure to procure the undamaged family back to France with her. Angela and Jacqueline align to show supper at the Gioberti's period. Angela tried to preserve Emma from coming, but Julia of course her to surrender. At supper, Angela and Jacqueline in words sparred up to that time Angela, disgusted, not here the table, Jacqueline important close following. Outdated from the rest of the family, Jacqueline contained that Jason's leave-taking may not show been chance and that Angela one way or another precipitated it. She imaginary she not here Falcon Crest thirty years ago to top Hoof marks from Angela, and that she desired to scuttle to do so. Hoof marks interrupted the conversation, saying that he may well make his own decisions and that he belongs in Falcon Crest. As the family imaginary their goodbyes, Hoof marks on hand to let Jacqueline standstill so they can be together. Jacqueline imaginary the real circumstances she returned was to revitalize their objective of family, and promised to be bestow for Hoof marks with he popular her. 1985: British run opera EASTENDERS premiered on BBC. The show revolved almost the broadsheet lives of the denizens of Albert Set of scales in London's East End province of Walford. In the thing, Den Watts, Arthur Fowler, and Ali Osman naked Reg Cox vain in his demolish. Equally the rest of "THE SET OF SCALES" -- led by busybodies Ethel Skinner and Lou Beale -- was hindered in gossip about Reg's get ahead of and argued over virtual usefulness, Pauline and Arthur Fowler -- middle-aged and on the dole with two teens to support -- fretted about telling family matriarch Lou that they had a third successor on the way. 13 million spectators watched the first thing.1986: On Time OF OUR LIVES, Shane (CHARLES SHAUGHNESSY) ductile a shield at the Brady Associate Vent.1988: On Adjacent, Ava (ROYA MEGNOT) established to expire Stone (RANDOLPH MANTOOTH).1993: Time OF OUR LIVES compensated tribute to executor Joy Garrett (JO JOHNSON), who conceded eight days ancient.1998: On Other Universe, it was the first light overdue the momentously fail that killed Shane and Michael, and Lila (LISA PELUSO) vowed to find out why Shane was on the bulk that night, and accused Vicky of causing the car dump by luring Shane to the bulk log cabin. But Donna conjured a legend, claiming Michael desired to procure Shane to the log cabin so he may well meander on his research. Jake admitted that he went to the log cabin to spy on Vicky, and schedule Vicky desired to tell him what she knew about that night, she was painful by her property to Donna never to agricultural show the conclusive. Meanwhile, on his marriage day, Rob awakened to the horrendous news that his twitch had been killed in the car dump. He and Sofia passed away what they attention would be the happiest day of their lives in a general of embarrassing ache. And Lila, who may well not let the situation of Shane's leave-taking rest, contacted the sheriff about the "uncaring killing."2001: On AS THE Universe TURNS, Jake (TOM EPLIN) met his twice girls for the first time and named them Michelle and Bridget overdue Vicky's twitch and upholder. Jensen Buchanan would make her ultimate rig on ATWT the close day. She had ahead of started appearing on Everyday Infirmary which led P ex-Kevin, AS THE Universe TURNS; ex-Alexi, Empty space ESSENCE; ex-Dex, Mansion) - 69STEPHEN NICHOLS (EX-TUCKER, THE ECOLOGICAL AND THE RESTLESS; EX-STEVE, TIME OF OUR LIVES; EX-STEFAN, EVERYDAY HOSPITAL; EX-SKYLER, SANTA BARBARA) - 63MARTIN HEWITT (EX-STEVEN LARS, EVERYDAY INFIRMARY) - 56JESSICA Crease (GLORIA, TWISTED; EX-NAN, EXAMINE BLOOD; EX-MEGAN, ONE MAKEUP TO LIVE; EX-MADELINE, TIME OF OUR LIVES; EX-DIANE, SUNSET SEASHORE) - 51BELLAMY Ecological (MELLIE, SCANDAL; EX-COURTNEY, OTHER UNIVERSE) - 44EDITOR'S NOTE: If you would like to record a portion of run opera history for this broadsheet caravan, assure email it to EDITOR@WELOVESOAPS.COM.
"Jersey Angel "was included in the best summer books lists of "Publishers Weekly, Boston Globe" and "The"Horn Book. " "Jersey Angel" will be published in Germany by Carlsen. Yay! Reviews: "A delicate and very real story about the way a teenage girl grows up.""The New York Times Book Review" "An acutely intimate portrait of a girl's efforts to better understand herself and her relationships.One can almost smell salt and sunscreen in the air in this soulful and insightful coming-of-age story.""Publisher's Weekly", starred review "Refreshingly complex.""Boston Globe" "With this honest and compelling character, Bauman has rewritten the rules for teen romance.""Library Journal" "Angel...is a rare but welcome type of protagonist in young adult literature: a girl with a healthy libido and no shame about following where it leads.""The Horn Book" "Smart and sexy.""Shelf Awareness" "Bauman...has a wonderful eye and voice.""New Jersey Star-Ledger" "This novel is Jersey Shore with heart.""School Library Journal" "This quick read will please readers looking for both nuance "and" heat in their beach books.""Kirkus Reviews"
Credit: lay-reports.blogspot.com
By Glenn Campbell
Below is a collection of 100 of my past tweets on marriage (tweeting as @BadDalaiLama). This list was assembled for the English language edition of my forthcoming book, The Case Against Marriage. If you would like to locate and retweet one of these tweets, you can find it by searching one of my two archives: the official downloaded Twitter archive or my own homemade tweet archive.
* Trying to capture love with marriage is like displaying a wild animal on your wall. As soon as you've nailed it down, you've killed it.
* Beauty cannot be purchased or possessed. If you try, all you'll get is bragging rights to the beauty that was once there.
* As a rule, Paradise turns into Hell as soon as you move there.
* If you're not willing to fight, stand up for your interests and defend your borders, then love is not the place for you.
* Love alone cannot bear the weight of all we ask it to do.
* Given the credit card of life, most spend it to the max as soon as they can, laboring the rest of their lives to pay the interest.
* A relationship cannot truly grow unless there is the realistic option to withdraw and renegotiate.
* A romantic relationship should not be confused with a parental one.
* A successful relationship isn't merging. It is sharing of independent viewpoints.
* Don't be a victim of your own cleverness-finding ingenious ways to sustain a relationship that really should end.
* Even after years of research and testing, there is still no clean-burning form of love.
* Every relationship is a balance between sharing and the need to preserve ones own identity.
* You can't prove love by killing freedom.
* If a little of something makes you happy, that doesn't necessarily mean a lot of the same thing will make you more happy.
* A bad marriage is the ultimate police state, with Big Brother watching your every move for signs of disloyalty.
* Love is not a steady state but an ongoing negotiation to get what we want.
* Adult personality cannot be changed from the outside, especially within the scope of romance. Change may happen, but only after you're gone.
* Love is a means of travel, not a destination.
* People in love are not sane. They are the worst people to be making fateful choices about lifetime commitments.
* It is remarkable how humans can willingly accept imprisonment in exchange for the approval of their family and society.
* Failed romances are one of life's great classrooms. You learn how people really work and how fantasy differs from fact.
* Gay couples who cannot marry must take their relationship in small discretionary steps in a process resembling reason.
* Falling in love with someone is the best guarantee that you won't be able to change them.
* Love is a condiment of life, not a main course. It can't give you a meaningful mission any more than ketchup is a food group.
* Given the choice between being lonely and losing yourself in a relationship, lonely gives you far more options.
* Love is a dance of "Closer, please, but not too close!"
* It is remarkable how love can turn lead into gold-and back to lead again shortly after marriage.
* Romantic love is a partnership, not a charity. You're not there to repair the other person or protect them from themselves.
* Happiness is not a permanent condition. It must be constantly renegotiated and cannot be nailed down in the future by any form of contract.
* Hubris is thinking your romance will last forever.
* It is plain enough to us when a friend gets drawn into an unproductive relationship. If only we had that same insight for ourselves
* Marriage is like giving guns to teenagers. Who among us, in the heat of passion, can comprehend the implications of "Til Death Do You Part"?
* Romance does not just combine the strengths of two people, also their weaknesses.
* If a relationship is faltering, don't fool yourself into thinking you need "more commitment" and fewer options for escape.
* The main effect of marriage is to tie people together by shared financial obligations. This is different than being tied together by love.
* The neutralizing of future discretion should not be mistaken for a declaration of love.
* In Medieval times, marriage was a necessity. You couldn't have sex, live together or have children without it. Today it is a vanity.
* The unmarried look longingly over the fence at those who are married. The married look longingly back.
* Marriage can give you a front-row seat to insanity no one else can see.
* In the beginning, love is defined for us by others. We have to fail many times before we learn to define it for ourselves.
* Romance is a futile attempt to reproduce the apparent security and unconditional love of childhood.
* It's a bad sign for your relationship if you're watching your words and editing your thoughts to not trigger an explosion.
* Ice is water that got married. Those free-flowing days are over!
* Instead of making one grand decision based on faith, you should make many small decisions based on knowledge.
* In every relationship, you have to fight for what you want, especially from those you love.
* The greatest wealth is the freedom to change.
* Just because you love someone doesn't mean you can live with them.
* It doesn't say much for your relationship if you think you need marriage to lock you in and make it harder to escape.
* If one fat person marries another, they'll both get REALLY fat. Same with any other mutual defect.
* Looking back on our own romantic obsessions, we are bound to exclaim, "I can't believe I fell for that!"
* Loss of libido is a crisis only if you are already committed to a relationship that depends on it.
* Gays battling for the right to marry is like men fighting for the right to wear corsets.
* Love is harmless. The obligations that follow on its heels are not.
* Loyalty isn't all that admirable if it makes you hold on to a dysfunctional relationship.
* Making babies is the standard turnkey solution for couples who can't think of anything else to use their relationship for.
* Many a marriage is kept marginally afloat by the herculean efforts of one party who mistakenly takes the wedding vows literally.
* Romance is powered by the need to believe, which can sweep all sorts of disturbing evidence under the carpet.
* In any relationship, how you argue is more important than what you argue about.
* You can't reason with the gambler, the addict or someone in love. They may agree with your logic, but it won't change their behavior.
* In romance, you build the theatre, write the script, choose your own role and cast a lead actor. Don't rant at all actors if the play sucks.
* Marriage is the most effective Redpill you can take. In a few weeks you'll start seeing your partner for who they really are.
* In any relationship, there are times you draw close and times you pull away. You damage the former if you try to prevent the latter.
* Marriage, under the law, has nothing to do with love. It is an economic incorporation that most relationships are much healthier without.
* Much of what we call romance is the attempt to outsource responsibility for our own life.
* If you grew up in a paper mill town, the smell of wet paper would remind you of home and you'd probably marry someone who smelled like that.
* Love without flowers, chocolate, jewelry, children, alcohol, codependency or interior decorating. Can you imagine such a thing?
* Marriage and home improvement recursively justify each other.
* In romance, you are not a therapist, protector or parent. You are a consumer, willing to pay a reasonable price for a quality product.
* Even a "successful" marriage runs the risk of freezing your life in place and bringing an end to creative growth.
* Only in romance are people expecting someone else to save them from themselves.
* Passion alone cannot fuel a long-term relationship.
* People in love build a mythology about their early days that involves some selective memory loss. When love ends, full memory comes back.
* Marriage is most destructive when you have to mute your own growth to match that of your jealous and less competent partner.
* The recurring error of investors everywhere is to take the "trend" of today and extrapolate it in a straight line into the future.
* People tend to confuse having a lot of obligations with having a meaningful life, so they pile on the obligations.
* Relationships are damaging when they disrupt the individual's direct negotiation with outside reality.
* Romantic love is a value-added service. If you are not receiving value in excess of the price paid, you shouldn't be using the service.
* Most forms of mutual protection become unequal over time, with one party giving far more than he is getting.
* Romantic relationships are successful only when power is relatively equal and each person remains responsible for their own problems.
* single - adj. the state of being able to do whatever you want with your life without having to negotiate with anyone.
* Someone in love is the perfect propagandist, trumpeting the positive aspects of their choice while obscuring the negative.
* Survival in marriage means carefully watching your words and not rocking the boat.
* Romance involves the acceptance of creeping change, often leading to conditions you never would have agreed to in the beginning.
* The dueling agendas of gay rights are "Government must stay out of our bedroom," and "Government must sanction our relationship."
* The greatest danger of marriage is the loss of negotiating power.
* The main fallacy of romance is thinking someone else can give your life meaning when you can't find it yourself.
* When your love is completely selfless, prepare to be abused.
* The only thing sadder than divorce is a failed marriage that does not end.
* The premise of many a Hitchcockian thriller-and countless real-life ones-is how your partner changes after you are married.
* You don't fall in love with a person but with an image of them which is partly a fiction in your own mind.
* The scary thing about intimate relationships is how one party accepts and adopts the dysfunctions of the other.
* There are no unconditional relationships. You have to fight for what you want, even from those you love.
* To be against marriage doesn't mean you are against love. It only means you don't want money to come between you.
* Walking down the aisle, taking the marriage vows, the bride is thinking: "What does everyone think of me? Am I doing this right?"
* We design our own romantic disasters. The opposite gender just fulfills them for us.
* When you find something thrilling, the worst thing you can do is commit yourself to repeating it. The thrill goes, but the commitment stays.
* You never know what a person is really like until after the honeymoon.
* Young people in love think they have things all worked out, but time will teach them otherwise.
* Your best asset in romance is to not really need it.
* Free will dies the moment you say "forever".
You can find many more related tweets be searching the archives (above) for "love", "marriage", "relationship" and similar terms.
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Women can be celebrated and in the seat while of beautiful, sexy, smart, and large. This happened on the artists, celebrities, models, and others. Women the largest part would be looking at them, some with glorification, some with envy. Challenge is not while they want to become celebrated and get at all the women continue just celebrated, but in the same way while numberless men popular. Is award new to the job set of circumstances for men to hunger this woman away while of physical?EventThe man, consciously or robotically, motivated by the compete. Men want what the outlying guy. They in the same way want what they say they can not continue, in the midst of the beautiful women are celebrated. Advantageous why they approve of to be able to subjugate Scarlett Johansson while a lot of men who want the ex-wife that Ryan Reynolds.VariationIf you view torment photographs of the artists, you'll see a change from the ordinary thread to anticyclone. Because of his career the beautiful women and highly praised it in truth will be changes so considerably thread. Artist and beautiful models requirement be able to look popular to comprehend the style over time, requirement be able to look sexy, feminine, shy, gaudy, polished, until the vivid tuneful.Men like elegance. According to the experts on askmen.com, while that is for men, adherence is very unmanageable. They are visual creatures. No bewilderment they are so pleased to see her partner who diverse his style becomes persuasive. The celebrated women, artists or models normally change their majesty, sometimes reading dress up as their fantasy (ability to remember the thread of the Victoria's Enter models show that again?). Relationship of developmentMen in the same way like to suppose. They continue a lot of types of overall female models on their heads. Originality sexuality is in the same way explored by distinction seekers. Idiom, Britney Spears took the impression as a sexy girl in the undeveloped existence of his celebrity. Katy Perry is using the margin hero girl, and numberless others. No matter what makes these celebrated women slowly popular by men is while they play a role and a garb that provides serious prophecy of the image of this man.The artist and the model can do this, still women are the largest part less able to do this. For the men, it turns out women they encountered in haunt life, or her partner rarely can channel their image while it was too complex, too real, it was cantankerous to be assimilated in their fantasy calculate.Command to be celebrated tooOf be in charge, one of the reasons for coveting new to the job man celebrated women is while they see that the distinction was interesting too. Men of high status and prestige to suppose any time. Men like to be esteemed, liked, and common. Possibly will be true distinction is they who popular by these men, not a celebrated person.Deeper than the physicalOf be in charge the celebrated women in the list of the men is very beautiful. Possibly will be in the same way that which makes these celebrated women are very seductive in the eyes of men is not just a convenience for staring, but they represent no matter which of a personal impression of them.
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There are a lot of other success factors as well. There are techniques on how to speak with the right tonality... how to touch her that allows her to feel comfortable and doesnt turn off any of her weird alert switches... specific NLP triggers that you can use to connect and make sure shes totally in your zone....
Credit: gamma-male.blogspot.com
By Vicki Diaz
Anyone in various fields of leadership is known to deal with plenty of obstacles and complications along the way. People in various positions of leadership are required to continually question and improve upon their personal and leadership skills as part of guiding their sector of the company toward successful and competitive results. When concentrating on executive coaching NYC professionals leaders generally uncover a wealth of perks associated with their efforts.
An executive coach offers the leadership guidance that people need to overcome their weaknesses and ensure their companies are headed in the right direction. Executives typically focus on their services when trying to be assured that their skills are successfully built upon and able to be readily improved over time. The use of this kind of provider is actually quite popular and helpful when considered.
Leaders in NYC that are interested in this particular form of guidance have a large number of opportunities to work through. Many consumers are not quite clear on whether they should consider this kind of guidance or not throughout their improvement efforts. Understanding the perks of using this kind of professional is quite helpful in making an informed decision.
A popular perk of using this kind of professional is the direct training approach that is typically offered. Professionals are known to work closely with their clients throughout their operations to ensure that a direct amount of exposure into what they dealing with on a daily basis is readily attained and able to provide the most appropriate assistance. This direct approach is helpful to the client as well while ensuring all efforts are specific to their business.
Another benefit associated with the use of this specific professional is the hands on approach they take with all of their clients. Hands on training programs are quite powerful in being able to determine what strengths and weaknesses the client has which are then focused on throughout the guidance process. Many professionals even ask to be part of specific meetings and projects to ensure they fully understand what their client is dealing with on a regular basis.
The knowledge and skills that are offered to clients in regard to coaching are cutting edge and the most advanced. The principles to govern best practices in leadership are continually evolving and being updated to reflect more modern standards which can be quite helpful when shared with clients. Best practices are also bench marked from industry leaders when helping their clients improve upon their skills.
Professionals also provide their clients with tailored service agreements in most cases. Each leader is unique and requires a different set of assistance tools in order to successfully improve over time. Clients are often provided with the option to participate in creating their agreement to ensure all stipulations are appropriate.
When considering an executive coaching NYC professional leaders also learn that they are affordable. The rates that are charged by professionals are highly competitive and often kept quite low across the industry. Many providers even charge rates that are based on levels of success they are able to help their clients achieve.
About the Author:
You can visit the website www.juliaharriswexler.com for more helpful information about Benefits Offered From Executive Coaching NYC Professionals
WRITING A GOOD ONLINE DATING PROFILE FOR MEN
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Credit: quick-pickup-rules.blogspot.com
By George Turner
Covert hypnosis is basically a mental technique used to converse with people without noticing it by directly speaking to their unconscious mind. When initiated covertly during a conversation, it is referred to as conversational hypnosis. The procedure works by turning off the critical mind of the target and consequently taking advantage of their subconscious mind.
This is basically taking control of peoples will and denying them the power to make their own decisions. The technique was discovered as a way to help patients with memory loss problems recover their lost memories as part of their therapy. This methods works by triggering the imaginative side of the brain, which on the other hand switches off the critical mind and that is why one can make decision without noticing it.
Everyday there are different incidents of people falling under various categories of hypnotism without noticing it. For instance, there are several people who have been caught sleep walking where they even go for the mails, take a glass of milk and will deny it when confronted. There are others who will drive for miles and even obey traffic rules and lights and cannot the detail of the journey once they alight.
There are three critical steps used when conducting this procedure, these are; build a rapport, then switching off the mind of the listener, and finally making hypnotic demands. This procedure is very effective and is used to get unfair advantages over other people; and the crucial part is that they do not notice it.
The first step is getting involved with the target and establishing a connection that will draw their attention and capture their concentration. It is through the peak of their concentration that one can initiate hypnotic words that will completely take away their consciousness. Mostly, hypnotizers accomplish this by sharing innermost feelings which might not even be real with the victim so as to draw their attention.
Switching off the mind of the target is the critical step, which involves the use of words such as; imagine and what if so as to activate their imaginative side. One should be very careful at this point as it can backfire if the targeted individual was not deeply connected. The language used and the level of rapport are the determining factors of this step.
The final step is usually the commanding part where one speaks to the subconscious mind and tells the listener exactly what they should do and how to go about anything commanded. At this point, the person who is hypnotized is usually unaware of happenings and has no power over themselves. However, it is also critical to ensure that one does not find anything weird after the procedure so as to maintain the mentality instilled.
The use of covert hypnosis has grown popular over the years, and people have discovered the power it possesses and are using it to their benefit. For instance, people have used it to commit murders by making other people commit suicides. On the other hand, motivational speakers have been seen using the technique to make great impact by twisting peoples way of thinking.
About the Author:
The ability to learn and implement covert hypnosis is a method that can be mastered with practice. See additional details about the art Of covert hypnosis on our website here.
I don't drink coffee, but if I did, I would have spilled my cup when I found out that Ross Jeffries, the "genius" behind Speed Seduction, has started his own anti-pickup community blog, aptly named PUAFraud.com.
Honestly, this is absurd. He should have taken a page out of the book of Love Systems, PUA Training, Real Social Dynamics and others. Point in case: if you write fake reviews and testimonials, then at least use different aliases. If you are thick or only found one guy who was dumb enough to work for free for you, then the fact that all the testimonials use similar language patterns will still give you away.
Just look at this priceless post by an RSD Intern who has the solution for all your problems in life. The laundry list of course ends with "take an RSD bootcamp". Funnily enough, the first reply is by a guy who writes, What are you doing as an RSD intern. I thought you were financially free?". The remainder of the thread is a mindblowing example of human stupidity.
But back to Ross's new blog. While I found his motivation completely transparent, I am still baffled. The mere fact that he has used his own alias to bash his competition, who basically offer the same scammy products than he does defies any logic. But probably it's just an attempt of clutching at straws. Surely he would not have to resort to such means if his "business" would run well.
To give you some background information: Ross Jeffries has joined PUAHate.com some months ago. While he tried branding himself as a martyr who offers the one true solution for getting women, he got bashed severely. Last time I checked, he hadn't posted for weeks, which was not surprise since he did a rather poor job on convincing the people on there how "amazing" his system was. Spreading bullshit on your own blog and censoring comments you don't like is much easier (and less harmful to his bloated ego, too) than facing a horde of critics and trolls.
I did check out his blog some days ago. The first question that popped into my head was, "Who is he addressing?". Not only was his writing very weak and lacking any argument as to why he would not be a scammer, it was also very transparent that he was writing some of his own blog comments. Just compare style and vocabulary.
I've commented on his lame post on the "seduction syndicate", which takes ample inspiration from SaltyDroid's posts on the Internet marketing syndicate. I have mentioned Salty Droid before, but here's a reminder: Salty attacks the scammy Internet marketing niche for their unethical and often illegal business methods. Since a lot of gurus, like Ross Jeffries, Neil Strauss aka. Style, Mystery and Mehow seem to be "students" of scammers such as Frank Kern and "Eben Pagan" (a pseudonym of the guy whose other pseudonym is "David DeAngelo"), it is therefore little surprise that both groups use similar techniques. On an abstract level, it almost looks like a Ponzi scheme as Internet marketing gurus trick PUAs who then trick other people.
Since Ross Jeffries' hypocrisy was too much for me to take, I had to comment. In all honesty, nothing in his post made it clear why he would be exempt from the accusations he makes against his competitors. Here's my comment:
To my great surprise, this comment did not get censored, unlike some other guy's, who had wanted to mention a number of informative threads on Ross Jeffries on PUAHate.com. Well, in his own house, Jeffries doesn't tolerate criticism it seems, so why didn't he censor my post?
It turned out that cunning Ross Jeffries had a different plan. He replied:
There was no point in going back because Ross Jeffries deliberately "re-framed" my comment. What followed is just lame, since Jeffries deleted my next comment, which was this:
It's little surprise that Ross Jeffries didn't want to have this kind of irrefutable argument on his blog. Therefore, he quickly (panickingy?) deleted it.
But this wasn't the end of it:
Who is lying and misrepresenting facts here, Ross Jeffries?
I actually was surprised that he did allow some minor criticism of his censoring:
Ross Jeffries should seriously read up on Roman Mythology. What does it mean if we call someone "Janus"? (Answer: A two-faced, hypocritical son of a b*tch.)
Ross Jeffries's early ancestor in spirit
So, let's sit back and wait what is going to happen. Here's my last post on Ross Jeffries' blog:
Honestly, guys, in which way is Ross Jeffries "better" than Mehow, Style, David DeAngelo and all the other scammers out there? Heck, Jeffries makes fun of Mehow having gotten an "F" from the Better Business Bureau, a fate he shares with some other "gurus", but what grade would Ross Jeffries' Speed Seduction business get?
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Reference: dating-for-black-men.blogspot.com
Wayne W. Dyer, is lovingly called the 'father of motivation' by his friends and fans. He is an internationally renowned motivational speaker and author of inspirational books on self-development. To date, he has written 37+books, appeared on television and radio shows, and has created numerous audio and radio programs. Wayne Dyer is an advocator, lecturer, author, speaker, professor, scholar, motivator, educator, counselor, advisor, spiritual healer and so on, on. He is globally known as the guru of positive thinking and has given life to many with his prolific inspirational speeches.
Dyer was born in Detroit on May 10, 1940 to Late Melvin Lyle and Hazel Irene Dyer. His early childhood and adolescence was spent in foster homes and orphanages where he learned to be self-reliant. His troubled upbringing and early struggles influenced his choices in the later years of his life. In 1958, he graduated from Denby High School and then joined Navy as a young adult and served for four years (1959 to 1962). At the age of 22, he left Navy and joined Wayne State University and started studying. He received his D. Ed degree in counseling. Later on he received his doctorate degree in educational counseling from the same university. He became a counselor in Detroit and began his teaching career as an educator by teaching students at high school level and became a professor of counselor education at St. John's University, NY.
Wayne began his academic career journey by publishing his articles in journals and running a private practice in therapeutic lessons. But his success started with his lectures at St. John's University, NY which were based on the power of positive thinking. His motivational speeches and techniques had a great impact on young minds and attracted students from all areas. One literary agent inspired by his lectures successfully persuaded him to compile all his lectures and ideas in a book which became the stepping stone in his journey as an author. This first book was named "Your Erroneous Zones". Initially, the sale of this book was very thin, but Dyer quit his teaching job and began his publicity tour of USA and gave media interviews, talk shows, etc.
Dyer built his successful career by delivering lectures on his tour and his motivational speeches in audiotapes helped to gather a huge audience. His fans grew all over the world within a short span of time. His audience was not limited to any one class, age, gender, or culture. He started a 'New Thought Movement' and his influential lectures on self development, motivation, and spirituality were published in hundreds of newspapers and magazines all over the world.
His eminent classic works include: "Real Magic, "10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace, "You'll See it When You Believe It", "Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life", "The Power of Intention", and" Excuses Begone".
He has appeared on world renowned international acclaimed TV and radio programs like "The Tonight Show, "The Today Show" and "The Oprah Winfrey Show." He has even acted in movies and his famous film is "The Shift".
His speaking style is straightforward, simple, honest and easy to understand and follow. They are basically based on his life experiences, anecdotes from his life, and his journey of success. His self-help and self-made story receives mass appeal. His guiding principles are very practical, easy to imbibe, and full of wisdom. His accent, pronunciation, and body language in his speeches motivates everyone to bring a change in one's life. His speeches cast a mesmerizing spell and give an inner joy and peace to the audience.
Wayne Dyer is the modern age philosopher and has emerged as a new age spiritual leader. He has embraced adversities in his life and has taken his leukemia as a challenge. His never tiring soul and will power teaches the people to design the life and carve the path despite all odds in life. He teaches that your imagination and thoughts are your treasures, your very own fertile field where you can plant the seedlings of peace, prosperity, change, attitude, aspirations and reap the best harvest in future.
Frankly speaking, there are no words that can describe this influential motivational speaker. You have to listen to his speeches and read his books if you really 'want to change the way you look at things'.
www.drwaynedyer.com/
A reader asks how to find some time in a busy schedule to spend with her husband. In her case, and maybe in yours as well, finding time isn't possible because it just isn't there to find. When there's none to be found, you have to make some!
I love hearing from the women who subscribe to this newsletter as much as the men. Their questions are just as relevant and they prove that women really do want time with their men to be intimate and nurturing and to have some fun. Meet K.:
Hello David,
I have a question for you. My husband and I work together as we own our own construction company. We are together 24 hours a day, and need to find a way that we can spend time together but not at work. It seems like when we get home we are too tired to have any intimate time together and when we are at work we are AT WORK. I want to know how I can separate work from pleasure with him. We don't have much family that we can rely on to take our son, and the one's that we do have that take him are sick right now. So when we need our alone time we want it.
How can we get this?
K
My reply:
Good morning, K!
Under the constraints you've listed, you can't, so you're going to have to make some changes, at least small ones. You're going to have to change your priorities to make that time together actually important enough to take it, and then manage your schedule so that you can, no matter what that takes. Maybe until your babysitters get well, you might have to schedule one day a week where the two of you disappear at lunchtime for an hour or longer, to an intimate lunch or a hotel or whatever, or schedule a late opening one morning so that you can have a little while at home after your child has gone to school before going to work, or something like that. How you do it isn't important as long as it doesn't destroy your business, but you have to schedule the time and then take the time instead of just waiting for a window to open.
I'm all about achievement and getting the job done, and this was a very hard lesson for me to learn as well; very early in my own marriage, my wife and I were both over-achievers and found ourselves in serious trouble before we realized that while we love each other dearly, we had inadvertently let our work schedules take over our lives, and had evolved from husband and wife into roommates and business partners. That was one of the problems that led to me doing the research to write "THE Man's Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage," and one of the first problems that I put to the test group to solve.
It turned out they all had it to some degree, either with spending all their time with their jobs or their kids, and for most, just scheduling one date and one lunch per week was enough to keep them close and engaged while continuing to get things more under control, and all of them found that once the schedule was made and acknowledged, it was very easy to keep to their commitments as long as they were smart about scheduling the time, avoiding times that were common for meetings, times that were in the middle of project start-ups, times that were during peak customer flow or when they knew they would have problems getting a sitter, etc., and they always secured a sitter before planning the date - "We need a couple hours some evening this week; when would be good for you?" was the question. And when the sitter gave them a date, it was set in stone, and only an event that produced fever or lots of blood was a good excuse for breaking the babysitting engagement and spoiling the date.
This isn't as hard as what it may sound. An hour or two per week isn't going to make that big a difference in your business, if any, and it will make a world of difference in your life together. Just realize that you're together for the long haul, and you should therefore try to give each other the best part of your day instead of what's left over after everybody and everything else has worn you out all day.
Speaking of which, when you do schedule an evening date, try to keep your day-time schedule a little lighter than other days to make sure you aren't too tired to enjoy the time together, and never let yourself think that you are too tired to enjoy some time together without at least trying it. You'd be surprised how rejuvenating a little intimate, playful time together can be, because it gets your adrenaline pumping. Sometimes a long day doesn't create so much fatigue as it does simple frustration and depression, and some time together in celebration of a job well done and a rough workday brought to a close can be the best pick-me-up of all.
And if you're really all that tired and need some low-energy together time, pile up together on the couch with a drink and a bowl of popcorn or anything that can be shared, sit close, clink the bottles or glasses in a toast, and just be still and relax together. No, it's not steamy sex on a yacht or hiking in the Andes or some deep emotional discussion, but when you're that tired at the end of a long day of over-achieving, even that quiet, mindless time spent in the intimate ritual of sharing food and entertainment is better than just crashing and forgetting about it. Do whatever you are able to do to indulge in what husbands and wives enjoy doing together.
Give this a try, and let me know if I can be of further help. You can do this.
Take care, and keep in touch!
David
A lot of couples make this mistake. They try to find time instead of making time, not realizing that when your life is in overdrive, even small amounts of time scattered through the week can make a huge difference in keeping your relationship on track, and if a couple hours a week is going to make the difference between your business folding or succeeding or the difference in you being able or unable to pay your household bills, you've got bigger problems than you realize and need to be finding some professional help. It's like arguing over a nickel at the cash register; if that nickel is going to break either you or the vendor, you're already broke.
Make the time for what's important, and get your priorities straight. You will most likely outlive your career, your parents, and your friendships by a very long time, and while you may not outlive your children, they will be moving out of your house somewhere around age 20 and you won't be seeing that much of them after they are gone. Your partner, on the other hand, is supposed to be with you for life, right? Common sense should tell you that your partner should therefore be your first priority, and if they are not, then you need to stop and figure out whether your priorities are wrong or you're with the wrong partner.
Finding a new job, making new friends, or even making new babies is relatively easy compared to finding a true life partner and soul mate, and if you've found one and lose them, that lengthens the odds of finding another somewhat, does it not? Look at your life, and get your priorities in order, and then do whatever it takes to support those priorities. Yes, it's really that simple.
When it comes to your partner, Gentlemen, doing what it takes to keep her happy and striving to nurture and excite you is a simple matter of communications and manliness, something you aren't taught in school, and have no hope of learning from watching television unless you're able to home in on that tiny percentage of programming that shows men and women being men and women, and not this homogenized New Age mess of political correctness and utter wussification and victim mentality that seems to be swallowing the world.
For a tested and proven, tutorial and definitive reference on "keeping mama happy so she keeps everybody happy," go to http://www.makingherhappy.com/ and download your copy of "THE Man's Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage." I'd also STRONGLY suggest you join our forum, http://forum.makingherhappy.com/, and take advantage of the friendships and mentoring that await you there.
Do it now, too. Don't wait for tomorrow. Life's too short to let it pass under-lived and unenjoyed, and as anybody who has ever used it will tell you, this book is "the hook-up" you've been looking for.
In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!
David Cunningham "Being a man is something to which one should aspire, not something for which he should apologize." --David Cunningham
