What's a man to do if he still loves his ex and he wants to get her back for good? Many relationships end and only then does one partner realize how much they love the other. If you're in this position and you're still wishing for a future with your ex girlfriend, there are things you can do to win back her love.
First and foremost before you do anything else you have to apologize to your ex girlfriend. If you did anything that played a part in the break up, now is the time to own up to it. No crying, pleading or begging for forgiveness allowed. That's over the top. Instead you need to calmly call her up and say you are sorry. Don't go into long explanations of why you did what you did. Just offer her a sincere apology. This will go a long way towards mending the fence and eventually getting her back in your life.
Think back to when you are your girlfriend first got together. There were qualities about you that she loved and she probably raved about them at the time. Those are the things you need to focus on now so you can get her back for good. Many men, after a break up, lose sight of the fact that their ex once fell deeply in love with them. If she did it once, she can do it again. Work hard at becoming an even better version of the man she fell in love with. She'll definitely be impressed, it will remind her of better times and it will reignite her interest in you.
Source: young-pickup-artist.blogspot.com
thewellversed.com
by Massimo Pigliucci
I have now been following, largely from a distance, what I've come to think of as the misogyny wars inside the atheist-skeptic movement (which has just recently made national news!). I've stayed away from the fray because I have had little to add to it, and because it is a treacherous territory where one is almost guaranteed of turning friends into enemies just by chiming in. Still, during my recent vacation in France and Italy (countries that have a lot to teach both about misogyny and women's liberation) I had some thoughts that may be worth sharing - at my own peril, naturally.
The first thing I need to say is that yes, as far as I can tell, the atheist-skeptic (hence forth A-S) movement does have a problem with women. Obviously, not every A-S does, and likely not even the majority (hard data do not exist, as far as I know). But reading the comments of some major figures (which shall go conveniently unmentioned), the commentaries on those comments by the average Joe-the-Atheist (mostly males), and from personal experience at countless "CON(s)" (can we please have a moratorium on using that darn abbreviation?) and meetups, it's clear to me that there is a problem.
Now, one could reasonably argue (and indeed, people have argued) that the A-S community is simply a microcosm of society at large, and since the latter still shows obvious signs of misogyny, then we shouldn't be surprised that so does the A-S movement (if you don't think that society still has a problem with women you have simply not been paying attention, and you need to go back to Feminism 101, which I am not about to provide).
Well, yes, but this observation still doesn't quite make things right for two reasons. First, just because someone else is misogynist it doesn't provide an excuse for you to be one too, obviously. Second, and more pertinent to our discussion, A-S pride themselves in being open minded and rational (if not downright politically progressive - pace our small but vocal cadre of libertarian friends), and there is no rational defense of misogyny (if you disagree, may I again recommend Feminism 101?).
So, if women in the movement complain that A-S organization X or Y does not have a sufficiently well developed sexual harassment policy, or it does not enforce such policy swiftly and effectively enough, the people in charge of said organizations ought (moral) to listen carefully and act accordingly.
However (you knew this was coming, yes?), it doesn't follow, as it has been claimed in the heat of the misogyny wars, that "anything" a woman says in this department goes and ought (again, moral) not to be questioned. For several reasons.
First off, and this should be obvious, "women" are not a monolithic category who see everything the same way. What may constitute borderline sexual harassment for one woman may be interpreted as innocuous or even welcome flirting by another. (I hope it's clear that I'm talking about actual borderline cases, not instances of men brazenly groping women in public, or making threats of rape via Twitter.)
Second, and related to the first point, we do not want to create a social environment where people are constantly afraid of stepping across invisible, vague and always shifting boundaries. That would take the fun out of going to the bar after the conference with friends and, frankly, out of flirting with members of the opposite sex (or of the same sex, if you are so inclined). In other words, as we have seen in the workplace and even in schools, there is a danger of overdoing it in the area of political correctness, something that makes for the kind of overcautious and over-regulated society most of us really don't want - especially the libertarians! (Remember the case a few years ago of a kindergarten child being expelled because he kissed a girl in his class?)
Third, and lastly, there is a danger in automatically assuming that group X (in this case women, but it could be an ethnic minority, or a religious one - including atheists themselves) is automatically right in every dispute regarding treatment of said group. It is well known, for instance, that racism is not confined to white people, and that pretty much any group is capable of xenophobia. An accusation of sexual harassment can not only get someone thrown out of a meeting or a bar, but can perhaps permanently tarnish his reputation in the relevant community, and ought (yup, moral!) to be treated accordingly. While it may make sense to default to the possibility that the charge is justified, any particular case deserves further investigation by the people in charge. Yes, this will complicate the job of conference organizers, so what? Nobody is obliged to organize a conference, but once you do you are expected to provide a certain number of services, a fair treatment of your guests being one.
So, where do we go from here? Here are three conceptually simple, yet I'm sure extremely difficult in practice, action items. First, let's tone down the self-righteousness, on both sides. It just doesn't help. Second, organizers of all future CON(s), you need to take the issue seriously, develop and clearly enunciate your policies, and be ready to deal with the consequences in a firm, if courteous and hopefully constructive, manner. Lastly, the A-S community needs to take the first step toward solving any problem: admit that there is one. Pretty straightforward, no?
P.S.: In what is perhaps a preview of what is about to come, something strange (or perhaps entirely predictable, depending on your point of view) happened this past weekend when I posted a link to thoughtful essay by Russell Blackford about the new American Atheists "don't hug unless you ask" policy over at my Google+ stream. I have been warned that I will likely be banned from (ironically) "freethought" discussion groups, and that my views will be seen as misogynistic and those of "a rape apologist, potential rapist." This is just really, really sad.
P.P.S.: Since it's clear from early comments that the point of my P.S. wasn't clear, I am clarifying it now. I meant the above as an example of the sort of trolling that goes on in these instances and is entirely unhelpful to a reasonable debate. I did NOT believe that I was going to be branded a rape apologist and be banned from discussion groups.
Do you ever hear statements like this from your spouse on Monday morning?
"Oh Lord help me, it can't be Monday again, already?"
"Someday I'll get some rest, I hope."
"Just 22 years, 4 months and 3 days till retirement. Will I ever make it?"
The first Monday in September is observed as Labor Day. This is the last long weekend of summer and the signal of school beginning for many across our country. This holiday commemorated to remember the accomplishments of working people in the USA poses an opportunity for husbands and wives everywhere. It is an opportunity to say, "Thanks." Thanks to our spouses for the dutiful and faithful commitment they display day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, to jobs providing an income for the marriage and family. A spouse may be in the best position to know what it costs their husband or wife physically, mentally, and emotionally to be productive out in the world so there is a home, food on the table, and cars to drive. The benefits of simple hard work are too easily dismissed, and in a marriage the benefits provided by each spouse's work can easily be taken for granted.
Many married people, men and women, consider their work and the income it provides for their spouse and family as an expression of their love and commitment. How sad for this to go unnoticed. When was the last time you told your spouse how much you appreciated the responsibility and commitment they display through providing for you and the family. For some this may be a very sore spot in the relationship. Men and women have expectations of themselves and one another regarding how significant a contribution each should make to a household income. Add to these expectations are the seemingly never ending conflicts about how the income generated by each spouse should be spent.
Is it possible in all our wrestling with each other about money and how it is used we fail to appreciate the sacrifice and diligence expressed by our spouse in their being faithful to their job? What about those individuals who are faithful to a job that is not particularly fulfilling personally but they remain committed because the income provides well for a marriage and family. In all our promotion and celebration of finding purposeful and personally fulfilling employment do we fail to appreciate those who work simply to provide for their families first, putting their own personal fulfillment secondary to providing a home and lifestyle for spouse and children. Shouldn't it count that a mother or father works dutifully day after day, sometimes working overtime so that the family can enjoy a comfortable lifestyle? Somehow these sacrifices go unnoticed and unappreciated.
To be sure working to provide for an ever increasing consumerist lifestyle at some point sacrifices the integrity of family relationships. The possession of things and status can wind up replacing relationship values. But, there is a point where every husband and wife must establish, "This is what we must do to achieve and maintain the lifestyle we have set for ourselves." To complicate matters the lifestyle goals we set for ourselves seem to always be growing in expense. Inflation, market fluctuations for goods and services, trends in values of property and other investments, all seem to make, "what it takes to make it" always changing. For many, never mind improving lifestyle, just maintaining lifestyle seems a constant battle.
These challenges are met every day by husbands and wives who love each other and their children. Labor Day can be an occasion to turn to ones mate and somehow say, "Thanks." Comments like, "I know you had to give up some fun stuff these last few months so we could catch up on some bills. I want you to know I really appreciate it." Or, "You work so hard between your job, the stuff around the house and what I and the kids ask for. I know we wouldn't have what we have if you didn't hang in there every day with your job."
So, how about it? If you're reading this and an idea drops in your head to tell your spouse how much you appreciate their "Labor" this Labor Day. Go ahead, tell them. You might just create a moment that makes it all worth while.
The post Labor Day Thoughts appeared first on.
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DATING ADVICE FOR MEN really feel like fashion expert? Or you even more of a lot to understand style. In any event, you will usually have interesting things to find out, especially because fashions modify with all the periods. Go on reading for several noise style assistance for everyone. Commit virtually all your fashion money the essentials. Look for parts that actually work collectively and have a great effect. Try on some a stylish black colored pencil skirt with tops and coats yearly. Lighter in weight washes and bright hues are far more best for an informal look. Don't have oodles of makeup products inside your attractiveness system. Pick items you undoubtedly love with a variety of the year. Think of what you should put on to work and what you would require whenever you go out on some time you get up until you visit bed. Makeup products fails to last eternally when it can be established. Bacterias can even grow on it when you used it a couple of months or years back and kept it resting.
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Perhaps you are more confident inside your APPROACH TO FASHION now that you have done this article. It could appear to be a bit overpowering once you have a modern society placing frequent tendencies. It's just like the game named feline and mouse. Keep in mind what you have read in this article whilst you explore your preference in fashion.
I recently read a blog about comparing ourselves to our friends or society in general and how if affects friendships. I was compelled to think it through and apply the premise to my own life. Do I unconsciously push away relationships because I am too inwardly focused?
On the surface, women are the worst offenders, comparing their physical appearance to their friends, celebrities and that other girl who runs by their house each morning (dang, she has a nice body). However, men are just as guilty of competing with their friends and peers for a better car, a better house, a better job, or (gulp) a better-looking girl.
Everyone does it. It is human nature. But is this automatic response responsible for the sacrifice of meaningful relationships?
Consider this: What if you simply live within your means, accept who you are mentally and physically and everything that you have and simply be. Be yourself and allow your friends to be themselves. Work together instead of against each other. Find something you are both passionate about and enjoy it together instead of throwing it in each other's faces.
Do not overspend your means to keep up appearances. Your true friends like you for you, not for what you have. If they do like you for what you have, it may be time to interview new friends. Concentrate on being together, experiencing together and making memories.
What you have versus what they have doesn't matter, unless you make it matter. Friendships are born out of common goals, likes and desires. Women focus so intensely on their outward appearance in comparisons to another woman that they overlook a kindred soul. Where has comparing your body, clothes or accessories to those around you ever taken you? On a one-way trip to uhappyville, that is where.
If you do have the urge to "better yourself," whether it be through your job, your body or just your attitude, make sure your motivation is healthy and comes from within.
Most importantly, don't sacrifice the important relationships in your life for a sense of betterment that will leave you alone and empty.
Have a relationship question? Email sacpress@live.com.
What is Self-esteem
Written by Christine Webber, psychotherapist
Some people think that self-esteem means confidence - and confidence comes into it - but it's rather more than that. There are any number of apparently confident people who can do marvellous things but who have poor self-esteem. Many people in the public eye fall into this category. Actors, comedians and singers in particular can glow with assurance on stage, yet off-stage feel desperately insecure.
Think of the late Princess of Wales or Marilyn Monroe and you'll see that public adulation is no guarantee of self-belief. The word 'esteem' comes from a Latin word that means 'to estimate'. Self-esteem is how you estimate yourself.
To do that, you need to "ASK YOURSELF CERTAIN QUESTIONS".
o Do I like myself?
o Do I think I'm a good human being?
o Am I someone deserving of love?
o Do I deserve happiness?
o Do I feel deep down that I'm an okay person?
People with low self-esteem find it hard to answer yes to these questions. Perhaps you are one of them. If so, what can you do?
HOW CAN YOU IMPROVE YOUR SELF-ESTEEM?
You can begin by accepting that you are certainly not alone. Masses of people have this problem.
Secondly, take on board the fact you are a wonderful, special person - and there is no one quite like you.
Not only are your fingerprints and DNA different from everyone else's (unless you have an identical twin), but your mind and how it thinks and operates is totally your own.
This means that out of six billion people in the world, you are a one-off. So if nature has bothered to make you unique, don't you feel you should accept that you're important, and that you have as much right as anyone else to be on this planet?
You have other rights, too. One of them is the right to make mistakes. Don't forget that 'to err is human' and most of us learn through getting things wrong before we get them right.
Furthermore, we have the right to respect ourselves - and to be respected. Finally, and perhaps most important of all, we have the right to say yes or no for ourselves.
PUT BEHAVIOUR IN PERSPECTIVE
It's not healthy to condemn ourselves because of one aspect of our behaviour.
Sometimes we feel we are 'no good' because we have failed an exam or lost a job, or we have been unkind or because we are having an affair.
All of us have many aspects to our personalities, and our current behaviour is just one of those aspects.
Try not to believe that the whole of you is hopeless, unkind or a failure, when really it is just one part of your behaviour that may - or may not - be these things.
HALT DESTRUCTIVE THOUGHTS
Many people with poor self-esteem think they're not very important and their views carry no weight. Is this you?
If so, try to stop these destructive thoughts because if you go around believing them, you'll encourage other people to believe them too.
Instead, start thinking of yourself as someone who has rights, opinions and ideas that are just as valid as anyone else's. This will help you to improve your self-esteem.
TECHNIQUES TO IMPROVE SELF-ESTEEM
"10-MINUTE TECHNIQUE "
People with poor self-esteem often fail to give themselves enough time and space. So find 10 minutes every day to be alone, and to just sit and do nothing.
Some people find it helpful to close their eyes and imagine a country scene or the sight and sound of waves gently lapping against the shore.
During this 10 minutes, allow yourself to feel peaceful and happy. Enjoy this time. It is yours - and yours alone.
"ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE"
Often we make ourselves unhappy because we go over and over mistakes we have made. But we can improve our self-esteem if we re-think the things we believe we have done wrong or badly.
For example, one of my clients has to give presentations at work. He used to mentally beat himself up after every one and stew over tiny errors.
Now he writes an account of each presentation shortly after he's given it. He writes about all the things that went well.
He doesn't need to write about the bad things - they will stick in his memory and he will try hard not to repeat them - but he will forget the good things unless he writes them down.
So when you have a bad day, or something goes wrong in your relationship or at work, write an account of what went right with that episode, not what went wrong.
The results will surprise you - and improve how you see yourself.
LIST 50 THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF
If you're seriously lacking in self-esteem this could take weeks, but persevere.
o You can write down your characteristics.
o You can include things about your looks.
o You can even write about the things you do. For example, you may buy a copy of The Big Issue on a day when you're short of money, or you may help an elderly woman in the supermarket when you're rushing to get your own shopping done.
When you have reached your 50 good things, keep the list somewhere you can see it all the time.
Next comes the harder part. Try to record one more new thing you like about yourself every day for the rest of your life.
The post What is self-esteem appeared first on Tic-Tok.
Origin: womanizer-psychology.blogspot.com
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