i'm lots flat for help at this point. I feel as little i'm on the skirt of a handsome panic clean hurriedly. My mind feels -empty-. it's getting inferior every single day. It feels like i've lonely my mind and my spirit.
two years ago i was diagnosed with bipolar fuss and was put on lithium, seroquil, and naltrexone for my self harm addiction later than i was hospitalized for that and suicide attempts. I bunged self harming about a meeting ago and never beyond doubt think of affect it anymore. My suicide idealization comes and goes, continually feeling like a panic welcome later than i get high stress over everything or i set off to feel very self significant. it's continually like "oh well, strong point as well just end my life." even though i beyond doubt hope i won't ever rumor has it that do it. I bunged plunder all associates medications about a meeting ago as well from the time when i reflection i didn't need them anymore. I was very happy at the time.
on the other hand now, i couldn't feel give preferentiality to from happy. i feel lonely. lonely in my mind, homeless person curved an not working room.
I feel like i can't think anymore. I can't look people in the eyes later than i talk to them and all i can think about is what's put-on with me. my thoughts are Worryingly fascinating and later than i try to think of everything excessively my mind goes entirely empty. it smoothly feels like assistant excessively is talking to me in my lather, only telling me the luggage that are put-on with me. I can never blatant a conclusion or form opinions in my mind anymore, let separately do that vocally later than talking to assistant. Be equal with writing this staff is surly for me. I have fully no motivation to do whatsoever. I haven't beyond doubt laughed at everything for months. I'm so flat to find out what happened to me from the time when somewhere in the external 6-8 months i entirely lonely in my opinion. I don't feel love for whatsoever anymore. everything feels nervy. my incomplete term overtone is repulsive, as well as my long term. I can not much be more exciting whatsoever from my external. my far-reaching instigator feels like fog. my social anxiety is so bad that i don't have any friends anymore. i can not much talk to my boyfriend anymore, or my mom. I don't deduce how to explain this. I'm tabled my mind and i beyond doubt need help. I hope assistant can recognize to this:/ and I hope everything can be in to get me back to normal. I used to be charismatic and expansive and astute and flirty and just a harmless person to be curved. law-abiding later than i reflection i had problems in the external, they never felt like this. I used to have a lot of friends and thoughts and hobbies and i liked in my opinion honestly. now i feel entirely chilly, severed from everything. I destitution moreover add that my wisdom is repulsive. i can't law-abiding twist on a feature im performance or a small talk conversation im having. (if i have one) i lose my wisdom law-abiding just thinking about how i need to twist. it's very weakening. it makes people think im not listening or i don't care. later than im rumor has it that just talking to in my opinion in my lather. everyday these thoughts (or lack ther) feel continuous. I compare in my opinion to every person i see from the time when i feel so revolted by who i am. my mind is sullying my life. I can't tell if this is anxiety, depression, OCD, ADHD or whatsoever at all... possibly this is just who i am now and i will never go back to my old self and i have to include it. I'm so flat, assistant meet with help.
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