Are You A Jealous Lover

Jealousy has happened to the best of us at one point in our lives. Hopefully you learn the lesson and didn't let it become a personality trait that you carried over to your next relationship or infatuation. There is nothing more harmful to a friendship or relationship than a jealous person. Jealously brings out some dark and unattractive characteristics in people. You might think that you are just being concerned or communicating to your lover but there is a limitation to how much communication and understanding why you are curious about where your lover is and what time they are coming home and who they are hanging out with.

HERE ARE A FEW GOOD TIPS TO KEEP YOU OUT OF THE "JEALOUSY TRAP":

* Give each other space to have friends of the same sex or opposite.
* Have trust even if you have been in relationships where your lover cheated on you. Don't blame someone else's relationship ignorance on your current lover.
* DO NOT ever go through his/her personal belongings including receipts, phone logs, text messages, emails, etc. This is a relationship killer. If you don't have the trust in your mate then you probably shouldn't even be in the relationship in the first place.
* Don't send numerous text messages or phone calls if your lover isn't picking up or answering calls. They could be busy or out of range. This just makes you look crazy and the person on the receiving end of this type of activity will usually not find this attractive.
* If you are in a new relationship and super excited about it, be sure to keep a level head so that you don't crowd the person out and look too pushy to get settled down. Enjoy yourself and take the time to learn more about each other over time and not in one month.

Being suspicious about your lover will only lead to the end of that relationship. Nobody likes to have someone snooping around in their personal business. If you have a strong suspicion that something is going then be sure to communicate the issue without being confrontational just in case there is a misunderstanding and no truth in it. If you catch your lover in a blatant lie then just bring it to light and let them know that you don't want them to ever lie again to you. Let it go if it is not too big and if it happens again then you can just break the relationship. I often see couples that get caught up in the 'tit for tat' battles and they start dwelling on old issues over and over again just to gain an edge in the relationship. This isn't healthy and if you are always looking to score points in these kind of battles then you are probably not in a good place with yourself and your relationship.

Arguments and small fights are common but just try to make sure it doesn't turn into a blame game battle. One of the most important traits I have learned that are important for females is that must have their own set of friends outside of the relationship so that you aren't their lover and best friend but that they still have a support group of friends to talk to in helping them resolve issues they might have.

Good luck and don't be a "Bugaboo" boyfriend or girlfriend. It is an ugly thing.

-Brian R.

Reference: dating-for-black-men.blogspot.com