On Monday night I was at a bar having a drink with a friend, when I overheard the tail-end of a comment from a group of three girls nearby. I didn't catch any of the first part, but the girl speaking ended whatever it was she was saying with "...but men "definitely" get better-looking with age."It annoys me to no end when I hear this, because - although it is widely accepted - the notion is complete bullshit. It is the same notion that motivates statements such as "I find men better-looking when I learn that they are intelligent" or "a receding hairline makes a man better-looking."On the surface, these statements seem to be acknowledging a difference between men and women - admitting that the attraction triggers for women are different than the attraction triggers for men. And this is undoubtedly true. But this truth only serves to mask a subtle attempt to assert that the sexes are the same.Think about it: the undeniable truth is that men do not get better-looking with age. There is simply no way that (all else being equal) a 40-year-old man looks more healthy and fertile than a 25-year-old man, or that a reasonably good-looking 28-year-old becomes a knockout once he gets crow's feet and his hair starts to thin. Even more telling is the blatant fact that there is no change in a man's appearance when a woman suddenly realizes that he is intelligent (or rich, or famous). The truth is that these things certainly do make a man more attractive, but they decidedly do not make him better-looking.The insistence that a man gets better-looking as he gets older, or hotter because he displays his intelligence, is an attempt to force the female attraction mechanisms into the mold of male attraction mechanisms. In other words, it is an assertion that women are attracted to men in the same way that men are attracted to women - by their looks, rather than by their strength or power. And, in light of the obvious fact that men do not get more healthy-looking or fertile-looking as they age, the only way to do this is to pretend that the symptoms of their power (age, intelligence, etc.) are physically attractive. Saying that a man gets "more attractive" or even "sexier" as he gets older makes perfect sense; but saying that he becomes "better-looking" is absurd - to the point that it immediately betrays its own insincerity.I realize that these kinds of comments are not usually made with the intention of insisting that men and women are the same, or in a conscious attempt to promote feminism. The girl I overheard in the bar was not trying to prove anything political; she was just voicing that fact that she finds herself more attracted to older men. But the "way" that she voiced that fact is riddled by a feminist fallacy, namely, that female sexuality is the same as male sexuality. The problem with this idea isn't that it is feminist, it is that it is wrong. There is a striking difference between male and female sexuality, and ignoring that difference is largely responsible for the anxiety and confusion that so many women in the dating world struggle with. The more we mask the truth with verbal facades like the assertion that "men get better-looking with age," the more we risk perpetuating that anxiety and confusion.So next time you are tempted to say that "men get better looking with age," or that "intelligence makes men better looking," stop and think for a moment about what you actually mean, and say that instead.RELATED POSTS1. Misconceptions2. No, You Aren't a Good Wing Woman3. Where is Feminism Taking Us?4. The Analogy Between Confidence and Beauty
Origin: datingforaverageguys.blogspot.com
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